Popstars,
Friends, & Lovers...a dreamer's tale
Burnouts
Series #2
Karen
Gordon
Book
Description
Publication
Date: November 2, 2014
“The
poorest man is not the one with no penny in his pocket, but the one who has no
dream.” – The Burnouts, Class of ‘99
For
two weeks Steve Shrader lived a dream. A dream that he didn’t even know existed
until he felt it. For two weeks he had love - in the form of Hello Kitty
bandaids and hot soup and his best friend, MG. Then he screwed up, like he
always did, and the dream he was living went away.
Now
school is over, MG is gone and he’s headed down the only path he knows;
drifting along and numbing himself with drugs and alcohol. But he’s seen a
better life. He’s seen what he wants. He wants MG. The question is how to get
to her from where he is now.
MG
dreams of living large in New York City - in a kick-ass apartment with a glam
fashion job and photo shoots with rich friends in magazines. She left
everything familiar back home in St. Louis and everything she thought she knew
about Manhattan and life isn’t turning out to be true.
When
MG's dreams crumble and fall though her hands she’s left with what’s real. A
real life with a real job and real problems. And maybe, real
love.
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Excerpt
#1 
When
they had talked on the phone about this visit their conversation always veered
toward sex. It was their default setting and both were hanging on to a lot of
saved up sexual energy. But now that she was here and exhausted and hungry and
wearing clothes that had been dragged across the floor of several major
airports the mood between them felt different.
As soon
as they were in the truck on the way to the condo, they had started talking,
which they did on the phone every day, so you would think that they would be
talked out and ready for nonstop screwing. They only had eight hours together
before she had to be back at the airport, but the rush to fuck just wasn’t
there.
While
she told him about all her waiting and flights in her MG way that made him
laugh, he ran her a bath. He found a big box of leftover catered stuff in the
fridge from Bryce’s last party that he brought into the bathroom. He popped a
mini sandwich in her mouth then grabbed one for himself.
He set
the box where she could reach it and opened two Fitz’s root beers (her St.
Louis favorite) as he caught her up on gossip updates that had happened in the
past few days–Bryce’s latest conquest, Casey still not talking to Pat, Carrie
and her twins and Nick. Then he stripped and slid into the tub with
her.
The
physical contact felt fantastic and added to the slowly building burn between
them, but it was still secondary to their need to connect. Talking in person
with gestures, touching and eye contact came first. They were reconnecting
slowly, enjoying the change in their relationship that had started when he was
in New York. Fuck buddies had been replaced by a deep connection that defined
their relationship now.
This is
what she really came to St. Louis for--this little slice of heaven that she
could only get with him. He was the one man in her life who had ever fought to
stay with her, even after she left him. He was permanence, even if neither had
any idea where they were going. She wasn’t lost alone.
She lay
with her head against his chest, resting her hands on his thighs, between
rounds of grabbing little sandwiches and swigs of root beer. He started talking
about general stuff going on at work then told her about working on the
accounts. His voice was more hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure he was ready to
share this with her.
“I started
a couple weeks ago with the invoices. I don’t know. I always thought that stuff
would be so hard, but … it’s all pretty logical and just creates a paper
trail.”
“Yeah,
well that paper trail was the highway to hell for me. I only passed accounting
because I talked the professor into letting me do a paper to make up for my
shitty test grades.”
“Accounting
was hard for you?” He couldn’t hide his shock that he got something that she
didn’t. He’d always considered himself the bottom of the barrel at
school.
“I
hated accounting. Never want to see that shit again.”
“Maybe
it’s the way Robert explains it.” She felt him shrug. “It all makes sense to
me.”
From
the way he talked about Robert, MG knew Steve really admired the guy. He
thought he was a really smart businessman.
When
the water got too cold, they moved to his bed and had the most
un-Steve-and-MG-like conversation about sheets. Bryce’s felt just like Alex’s.
They both agreed that great sheets were one benefit of being rich they could
get into.
Then
they wrapped themselves up in those sheets and made love, slowly, taking time
to stroke and caress and explore all the parts each missed on the other. Their
pace was a confirmation to each other that they didn’t need to grasp at
something that might disappear.
At
seven-thirty a.m., Steve woke MG from a brief nap so she could have a cup of
coffee and get dressed to go back to the airport. The snowstorm on the East
Coast was over, but its effect, along with the Christmas holiday, was still
rippling through the airline schedules. She had a nine a.m. flight to New York,
through Dallas. She wouldn’t be home until around five p.m.
It was
worth it. She would be willing to spend days sitting in airports fighting other
passengers and gate agents again to get another eight hours with him. She was
floating in a calm, happy place that only he could take her to. She left him at
security with a quick kiss and an “I love you” that she felt all the way
through her soul.
Playlist
It’s
Been Awhile – Staind
This is
the song that got me into Steve’s head. It’s so full of regret and passion from
a guy’s perspective. It’s a very raw song.
Drive
– The Cars
This
song inspired the scene where Steve gets MG in LA. When I listen I hear about a
person who sees the flaws in another, but loves them enough to be the one to
show up for them.
Hey
Jealousy – Gin Blossoms
This
song inspired the time when MG and Steve were together in New York.
That
Girl Could Sing – Jackson Browne
This
was the inspiration for MG’s relationship with Daniel (although she cannot
sing.)
Take
Care (featuring Rhianna) – Drake
The
idea of a guy understanding that women can be sexual and have a past and it’s
no big deal, he has one too—that is so Steve. He’s not hooked up on
the idea of a woman as property or something to be conquered, claimed and
marked.
Dreamcast
Excerpt
#2
Junior
Prom, 1998
They
all piled into the limo, ready for food and a reprieve from the stares and
drama that had been prom. Steve scooted across the bench seat to make room for
his dates: Carrie, Casey, Gina, and MG. Casey wanted the window seat so she
crawled over his lap, almost kneeing him in the balls on her way.
“Case,
jezus!” He doubled over, protecting himself.
Her
look of surprise said she hadn’t really noticed who she had just climbed
over.
Gina
and Carrie arranged themselves on either side of him, popped off their
high-heeled shoes and draped their legs across his to rest their feet. He
unconsciously grabbed their toes and started rubbing, causing both of them to
moan in ecstasy. But his mind was on MG, kneeling on the rear facing seat with
her butt squarely in his field of vision while she gave the driver directions
to the all-night pancake restaurant.
At
least fifteen different guys must have come up to him tonight and high-fived or
fist bumped him for having four dates to prom. Fifteen guys who normally never
talked to him but probably talked about him as a burnout, drug addict, loser.
He’d never considered himself the smartest guy, but he was sure as shit smarter
than them when it came to girls.
It
started when he was fourteen. Girls started coming on to him, usually older
ones. That was the summer he grew five inches and towered over all his friends
at a gangly six feet tall. That was also the summer that his dad stopped making
him get his hair cut. Women of all ages couldn’t seem to keep their hands out
of the dark brown waves.
Desiree
was sixteen and lived in his apartment complex. She gave him his first joint
and first kiss and he was hooked. He loved everything about both, especially
the way they made him feel. Having grown up with only his dad and brother,
girls were exotic to him and he couldn’t get enough time hanging out with them.
He wanted to hear what they had to say, study their bodies, taste them, smell
them, make them smile. Desiree and her friends taught him how to do just that
in a way that guaranteed they couldn’t get pregnant. He had hours and hours of
oral lessons from his first girlfriends. When he met MG he volunteered to teach
her, then Casey, then Gina (though they never got that far). He’d be happy to
go over the finer points with Carrie too if she ever asked.
“Don’t
stop!” Carrie moaned and he went back to rubbing her feet. Casey took off her
shoes and stuck her feet on his lap too. He rotated rubbing Carrie’s, then
Gina’s, then Casey’s. MG’s were notably missing.
♪
☺ ♥
The
tough-looking night shift waitress at Paul’s Pancakes flirted with him. She
teased him about what he had to keep four dates happy then passed him her
number on the back of the check.
Gina
saw it first when she grabbed the check to divide the total by five. “So, who
do you think this is for?” She joked as she held it up to show the others. They
all smirked at Steve.
He shrugged
off his innocence. “What?” There was no jealousy in the group. If he wanted to
call the waitress he could. But that was the problem too, there was no
jealousy, especially not from the one he wanted it from.
MG
wiped the last of the syrup from her plate with her finger and licked it off.
Steve watched her with rapt attention. Try as he might he couldn’t give up the
hope that she might really care, that he hadn’t majorly fucked up when he told
her that he loved her. He breathed out his frustration and looked away. Carrie
caught him and gave him a small smile of understanding. She had it just as bad
for her neighbor Ben as he did for MG.
He
thought back to the two weeks when he had lived at MG’s house. His older
brother Tony (better known as Stony) had come home wasted and beat the crap out
of him. When he got to a pay phone the only person he wanted to call was MG and
she didn’t hesitate to drive in a snow-storm and come get him. Then she took
care of him, well, her and her mom. She put Hello Kitty band-aids all over him
and made him laugh through his pain. She made stupid airplane noises and fed
him soup because he could hardly move his shoulder and his lip was too swollen
to eat solids his first day there. She fell asleep, spooned against him,
watching movies on the couch in her upstairs TV room. He even stayed through
Christmas. She bought him fingerless gloves and a hat, and her mom spent way
too much on a new leather jacket for him. Best damn Christmas he could ever
remember. Best two weeks he could ever remember. He wanted more of
it.
But he
fuckin blew it. Somewhere in the middle of telling her about his memories of
his step-mom, he told MG that he loved her. He meant it, but he should have
kept his mouth shut. Ever since then, they were still friends, but … it just
wasn’t the same. She barely touched him anymore.
♪
☺ ♥
After
pancakes they were all back at MG’s house where Steve was sprawled on the couch
in the upstairs TV room. He had changed out of his tuxedo and was waiting for
the girls to finish changing. It was past two a.m. and he had really had enough
for the night, but MG insisted they needed to stay out all night. He slumped
over the plump arm of the soft chenille sofa. Gina came in and flopped across
the giant bean bag chair, looking like she had had enough too. Carrie and Casey
both stretched out on the carpeted floor, sharing one of the big floor pillows
for their heads.
“Don’t
go to sleep,” he warned. “She’ll drag your ass down the stairs and out the
door.” When it came to fun, MG was determined. If she wanted to stay out all
night, they would all stay out all night, even if she had to drag them kicking
and screaming.
But MG
took too long to get ready (nothing new there) and they were all breathing
deeply, sound asleep, when she came in the room.
“Come
on you guys,” she pleaded to the silent room, then gave up when no one stirred
and pulled a pile of blankets from the hall linen closet. Through half-open
eyes Steve watched her drape a blanket over Carrie and Casey, then Gina. He
closed his eyes when she sat on the coffee table in front of him, wondering
what she would say or do if she thought he was asleep. She reached forward and
twirled some of his wavy hair around her finger. She had been doing that ever
since they met sophomore year. It made his hair stand up and her laugh.
He was
half on the couch, one leg still on the floor. She laid the blanket over him
and leaned in and sniffed his shirt when she tucked it around his neck.
Hopefully smelling his cologne (not that he owned any). He had stopped by
Walgreens to use a sample on his way to her house.
His
heart lurched when he felt her climb over him and under the blanket and snuggle
into his back. Her arm wrapped around him and burrowed into a warm spot against
his chest. He opened his eyes and swallowed, willing his traitor heart to slow
down before she could feel his reaction to her, that stupid hope he worked hard
to keep buried. In his mind “Love Sucks” by the Addicts played in a loop ‘til
he fell asleep.
Ten Fun Facts about Karen Gordon
10. I
can sing “Memories” in pig Latin because I used to do it to get free drinks in
bars.
9.
My weaknesses are cherry Poptarts, Jameson whiskey, and anything covered in
dark chocolate.
8. I
once tried to stowaway on a Greyhound bus, but was kicked off when I tried to
get everyone to sing camp songs with me.
7. At
one point in time my brother had my address listed as “suitcase” because I
moved so often.
6. I’ve
taken thirteen years of French and still struggle to form a complete sentence.
(But it’s great for seduction—then they don’t care what I’m saying.)
5. I’ve
only had one nickname, Squid, and I’m not sure why.
4. I
was the only person at my college to graduate with a BS in English. They
removed the degree from the catalog after I left.
3. I
watch English Premier League futbol for the beautiful men, soccer thighs and
muscle-defining jerseys. (Go Arsenal!)
2. My
four major holidays are Mardi Gras, St. Pat’s Day, Cinco de Mayo and
Halloween.
1. I am
a font of useless information and kick ass on cruise ship trivia. (My claim to
fame).
Burnouts, Geeks, & Jesus Freaks (Burnouts
#1)
Publication
Date: February 24, 2014
They’re
burnouts - a little short on parents, money and plans for the future, but
they’ve got each other and a whole lot of fun. With a world of crazy at home,
Carrie Gould needs them to keep her sanity. To stay in their world she needs to
keep dating the guy with the party house, which would be fine, if she hadn’t
fallen in love with someone else.
He’s
such a geek. Ben Gorman is obsessive, smart, strong-willed and on the fast
track to his dream of becoming an Army Ranger. He’s also the only geek with a
girl. Joelle Welker is perfect for him; a self-proclaimed Jesus freak, who is
dedicated to her beliefs and to building a future with Ben. But those plans
don’t include his neighbor, Carrie, or Ben’s dedication to
her.
Their
friendship started by chance. Their love started with trust.
***This
book is recommended for readers age 17 and older due to sexual
content.
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About Karen Gordon
Karen
Gordon was born and raised in the suburban paradise of St. Charles, MO, on the
outskirts of St. Louis. She earned a B.S. in English from the University of
Central Missouri (BS being the operative term) and a M.A. in Media
Communications from Webster University, where, always a rebel, she graduated in
a hot pink motarboard because she didn’t like the school colors.
She
currently resides in Olive Branch, MS (formerly Cow Pen) on the outskirts of
Memphis, TN with her 2.5 super-smart kids, and an amazingly-funny, cute, geeky
husband.
When
not writing, she is a stay-at-home mom (chick in charge) and part-time teacher.
Any down time is spent reading, catching up with friends and obsessively
worrying about every little thing.
Her
first novel, “Burnouts, Geeks and Jesus Freaks: a love story” was published in
March of 2014 with the second novel in the Burnouts series, “Popstars, Friends
& Lovers: a dreamer’s tale” being released in November, 2014. She is
currently working on the third, and final, novel in the series, tentatively
title “Boi H.E.A.”
Contact
Karen Gordon
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